Needs and Wants
by Siancore
Summary: Rick thinks he wants Jessie, but he doesn't; the realisation comes to him when he's alone with his thoughts. Set in the ASZ. M for smut.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Rick thinks he wants Jessie, but he doesn't. Written for my Tumblr followers as promised. I already posted this on Tumblr and forgot to share it here.

Warning: some Jessick nasty shit. My apologies beforehand.

* * *

"Why did you let him go over there to that woman?" asked Carl of Michonne as they sat in the living room and both pretended to be reading.

"I didn't _let_ your father do anything; he's a grown ass man, Carl. He makes his own decisions," Michonne replied, though she was annoyed as well.

She had not given much thought to it, but she knew she had feelings for Rick; what those feelings entailed, she was not quite sure. Not that it mattered too much now, she reasoned, as Rick seemed to be still interested in a certain blonde woman.

"Is it a date, or what? I mean, why is he seeing her?" the teenager asked.

Michonne sighed.

"I don't know, buddy. It's just one of those things. The heart wants what it wants," she said flatly, reading the same sentence of her book for the seventh time.

"He doesn't _love_ her. He doesn't even know her. Doesn't this bother you?" he asked, causing Michonne to finally look at him.

"Why would it bother me?" she asked, placing the book down to her lap.

Carl rolled his eyes.

"Because you're obviously into my dad," he replied.

Michonne snorted but said nothing; her face grew warm.

"Don't deny it. I see the way you look at him. He feels the same about you," said Carl.

"Well he hasn't said anything," Michonne said, picking her book back up.

"Neither have you," replied Carl.

Michonne sighed.

"Well, he's over there with Jessie now, so we should mind our business," she said, not believing her own words.

Carl shook his head in disbelief.

"Having a boring night with the widow of the dickwad he ended," Carl said. "He just feels guilty for leaving her alone without a husband or someone to protect her."

Michonne turned the page even though she had not read it.

"Maybe," she said.

"And you're over here pretending to read and pretending that my dad spending time with Jessie doesn't bother you," said the teen.

She shook her head and kept her eyes to the page.

"You two are so stubborn," said Carl. "You're made for each other."

xXxXx

The kiss was messy as her tongue explored his mouth hurriedly and without finesse. Rick waited for some kind of feeling to set in; a spark or something that proved his body was responding to Jessie's touch. He felt nothing as they broke their kiss; still, he thought he might as well try since he and Michonne were still just the best of friends and nothing had shifted in their relationship. He realized that was as much his fault as it was hers. There was never time before to sort through his attraction to Michonne, but now that they had the chance to rest, everything went to shit. Now here was Rick, making out like a horny teenager with the woman whose husband he had shot in cold blood. This, he thought, was a new low for him.

"I've just felt so alone since it happened," she admitted, referring to the demise of her abusive husband. "But you're here now with me, to protect me; I feel so much better when you're around. Even before…before it happened. He was a piece of trash, but still…"

Rick felt the small pangs of guilt return as he thought about his misguided lust that had stolen a husband and father away from the Andersons.

"I never in a million years would've thought I'd be doing this," said Jessie as she reached down and undid the zip of Rick's jeans.

The warm alcohol had gone straight to her head and then slowly warmed up the area between her legs.

"You don't have to do that," he said, feeling the effects of the alcohol he had consumed.

He did find her attractive, but he was still slightly uncomfortable with fooling around with her.

"I want to thank you," she replied before slipping her hand into his trousers and gripping his dick.

Rick sighed and Jessie was taken aback to find that he was not as turned on as she was; holding Rick's limp penis in her hand she looked at him and smiled. She gave it a few strokes and he still did not grow hard.

"Jessie, please…"

"It's fine, you just need some encouragement," she offered.

Before Rick could respond, Jessie was leaning over his crotch and taking his flaccidness into her mouth. Rick's eyes threatened to pop out of his head as he lifted his hands up. Jessie slobbered around down there for a moment before Rick tapped her back and tried to move.

"Jessie, stop that. Stop," he said as he shifted. "This isn't working."

Rick stood and tucked himself back into his jeans; he felt embarrassed for her, not at the fact he could not perform.

"I should get goin'," he offered as he backed away. "I'm sorry."

Jessie wiped her mouth with her hand and gave him a smile; her face was flushed red and she looked disappointed.

"It's fine," she said. "We'll just have to try again another time."

Rick nodded half-heartedly before letting himself out of her home.

…..

"You're home early," said Michonne as Rick came through their front door. "Thought you were gonna be sneaking in at some ungodly hour."

Rick shook his head; for some reason he did not find her to be that funny at the present time.

"Ain't even like that," he said as he walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water.

"Hey, that's your business. You don't have to explain anything to me; you don't have to tell me anything," she said before dragging herself off of the sofa and placing her book down on the coffee table.

Rick sighed.

"What if I did want to tell you stuff and things?" asked Rick, setting his empty glass down and approaching Michonne.

"Well you know you can. I'm always here for you, Rick, no matter what," she said with a small smile. "But I draw the line at hearing about if you got to third base with Jessie. I cannot do that."

They both laughed a little and then looked away; he thought there was a hint of sadness to her gaze. She thought he seemed to be holding something back.

"Nothin' happened," said Rick as he stepped slightly closer to Michonne.

He stared intensely into her eyes while fighting the strong urge to kiss her.

She nodded her head.

"Okay," was her reply before she bid Rick goodnight and made her way upstairs.

…..

Rick lay in his bedroom alone, thinking about what he was doing with his life. Things were so much simpler out on the road; sure there was danger at every turn, but you knew what you were doing. Keep moving; keep each other alive and repeat. _Simple_. Now it seemed Rick had some different types of decisions that needed to be made.

He cringed as he thought of not being able to get hard when Jessie touched him. It had been almost two years since a woman had touched him so he reasoned it should have happened right away. He knew he was not impotent because not so long ago when they were out on the road on their last leg before the rain and thunder came, he felt a stirring in his jeans. This sudden feeling of arousal took him by surprise when he watched as the rain poured over Michonne's skin. Her already impossibly tight clothing clung to her body in every delectable way as Rick felt his dick quiver. The rivulets that ran between her breasts caused him to lick his lips; he had to force himself to look away for fear of someone noticing the aching bulge in the front of his pants.

Rick closed his eyes and tried to remember how Michonne looked that day; soaking wet and smiling. Amidst the relief that the cool rain brought, Rick's skin felt a different kind of heat caused by the sight of Michonne. That heat had returned to him as he lay in his bed picturing his best friend.

Rick then imagined unzipping the front of Michonne's vest as the rain washed over her; he visualized touching her. Soon, he felt his cock shudder under the sheets. Rick reached his hand into his boxers and took hold of his length. For a moment, he recalled Jessie's hand there, but forced the memory from his mind for fear his growing erection would go away. Quickly, he let his mind focus back on Michonne in the rain. Rick imagined that he had now removed her top and the droplets were running over her stiff, dark nipples. He gave his dick a few hard tugs and moaned while picturing Michonne touching herself; he closed his eyes tighter and thought about how perfect her form was.

Next he imagined her full, soft lips wrapped around his glistening, red tip; Rick stopped his strokes, spat on his hand to wet it and then continued the movements. He breathed heavily and bit his bottom lip as he thought about how warm and wet Michonne's mouth would be. He visualized her on her knees, naked and wet, sucking every last drop out of his cock. Rick rubbed harder and whispered her name as he moaned deeply. He clenched his eyes tightly and let his head roll back as he came; his hot, white seed dripped on his hand and his stomach after it surged from him in a steady stream.

" _Fuck_ ," he panted, trying to catch his breath. " _Michonne_."

* * *

A/N: It was so gross writing that woman trying to start Rick's motor. Ewwwy hahahahaha

More to come!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thank you dear readers, you light up my life! Not feeling this new episode and the Jessick bullshit, so fuck it. This is a spite fic that's pure smut #Why?FuckJessieThatsWhy

* * *

Rick sat at the desk of the constabulary office where he was rostered for the most part of the day; life in the Safe-Zone was quiet so his shifts were almost boring. He spent his time examining maps of the surrounding area as well as looking at schematics of the community. Rick figured he should get to know the area better should they need to leave in the event of an attack or other such misfortune.

While he would not readily admit it to anyone, the boredom was becoming too much. At least when Michonne was there Rick had someone to talk to.

 _Michonne._

Rick's face flushed warm as he recalled what he had done the night before. It was the first time he had pleasured himself in so very long, and he felt no shame or regret. If he was being completely honest with himself, he knew that the desire which he felt for Michonne was always present; that attraction had always been there, whether he consciously recognized it or not. This was true about their initial meeting right up until that moment he spilled his seed over his own hand and moaned her name. What he would do with this new realization he had not yet decided.

He reclined in his seat and licked his lips as he thought about Michonne once more. He imagined what would have happened if she had heard his strained moans as he strummed his calloused hands up and down his shaft the night before. He felt the familiar stirring in his pants as he imagined that Michonne would be turned on from hearing him across the hallway. He visualized her creeping out of her room wearing only panties and a tank top; she would enter his room and catch him with his cock in his hand.

He wondered if she would be aroused right away, and in his mind's eye, she was. Rick pictured Michonne licking her full lips at the sight of him, approaching him slowly with that enticing sway in her hips and stripping off her scant clothing from her delicious body. She would stand before him as he continued his strokes. He then imagined her climbing into bed with him and placing kisses all over his body before bringing her luscious lips to his mouth. She would place her hand over his as he rubbed his hardness.

Rick was still very much inside of his own mind when the door opened and in stepped someone. It was Jessie Anderson.

"Hi Rick. Hope I'm not interrupting," she said coyly as she leaned against the door jamb and batted her eyelids; she held a baking dish. "I brought lunch."

Rick held back a sigh; the beginnings of his erection went away.

"It's fine," he replied, leaning forward. "What can I do for you?"

She smiled and then moved from where she was standing; taking up a seat on the desk in front of Rick and placing the food down.

"About last night," she started. "I was thinking, you've been through a lot and I understand if things are moving a bit fast, but I do want to try again."

Rick remained silent a moment, unsure of how he should proceed; the truth was, he did not want to disappoint Jessie, but he had realized that his desires lay elsewhere. He felt guilty for leading her on, but he had changed his mind; he reasoned that after everything he had seen and dealt with, he had the right to change his mind.

"Jessie," he started in his slow drawl. "You're a good person…"

"Shit," she said, her eyes narrow. "You're blowing me off?"

Rick sighed and ran his hand over his stubble.

"Hear me out, please," he said, leaning back in his chair to create some distance between them.

"Okay," she said before getting up from the desktop and sitting in a chair.

"I'm sorry for giving you the impression that there could be anything between us and then turnin' your life upside down. I wasn't thinkin' straight and I shouldn't have gotten involved with you considerin'…"

"Considering you killed the father of my kids?" she snapped, her eyes red.

"Yes," replied Rick. "It was stupid of me. I'm not sayin' there's anything wrong with you, but there was definitely something wrong with me. The way I acted."

She nodded and continued listening.

"I'm sorry if I embarrassed you or made you feel confused. I just don't think there's anything there between us and I don't want to take it any further. Let's just chalk it up to experience?" he said.

Jessie sat in silence a moment.

"It was really shitty of you, Rick. You know that, right?" she finally said.

"I do," he answered evenly.

"But thanks for being straight with me, finally," she then added, a little abashedly. "I'm gonna get going."

"Alright," he said.

Jessie opened the door and then stopped, curiosity getting the best of her; she turned and faced Rick.

"Who is it?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" asked Rick.

"Who is it that trumps me?" asked Jessie.

"Jessie, you don't wanna…"

"No, it's fine, Rick. I want to know. In some fucked up way it makes it easier knowing that you've got feelings for someone else," she said.

He sighed loudly.

"It's Michonne, isn't it?" Jessie said.

Rick just stared at her.

"I'm not comfortable talkin' about her with you," he said in earnest. "I'm still trying to sort out my feelings."

Suddenly there was a knock on the frame of the door.

"Am I interrupting?" asked Michonne as she stood in the doorway, her eyes darting from Rick to Jessie.

"No," they answered in unison.

"I was just leaving," said Jessie as she nodded to Rick and stepped around Michonne.

Michonne watched her walk away before closing the door and giving Rick a questioning look.

"What's goin' on?" she asked as she took a seat on the desktop.

"I just blew Jessie off," he said, leaning forward in his seat.

"Okay," she proffered. "Are you alright or…"

He snorted.

"Yeah. I'm good. It wasn't goin' anywhere and I wasn't thinkin' straight,' he said.

"Oh you were thinking with your little head, not your big head," Michonne said jokingly.

"I told you nothin' happened," he said defensively.

"Okay, Rick. I'm just joking. Don't let it bother you too much," she said.

He exhaled loudly and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand; they fell into comfortable silence.

"Would it bother you if something had happened?" asked Rick.

Michonne have him an indecipherable look.

"You're a grown ass man, Rick Grimes. You can do whatever you want," she said, avoiding the question.

Rick stared at her as he leaned towards her in his chair.

"You didn't answer my question, Michonne," he said; the way he said her name sent a shiver through her body.

"What do you want me to say? That it fucking annoyed the shit out of me that you were acting like a creep and chasing after that woman? That I sat around waiting for you to come home when you were with her like an idiot even though you were too busy getting your dick wet to care if it bothered me?" she spat; standing and moving away from him.

Rick stood and followed her.

"Why didn't you say anything?" he asked, frustrated.

"I thought I didn't need to, Rick! I thought we'd get here and, I dunno, figure out what we meant to one another," she said irritably. "But you wanted to go after Jessie and that's fine. Like I said, you're a grown ass man; but don't make it sound like nothing happened between us because _I_ never said anything."

Rick stood silently considering her words.

"I made a mistake," he said quietly.

"No shit," Michonne replied before turning to leave.

Rick reached out his arm and caught her by the waist.

"What are you doing?" she said, not shifting from his grasp.

"Making it up to you," he replied as he drew Michonne closer and pressed his lips to hers.

xXxXx

She was in her current position and it happened quickly, Michonne thought absently, not too focussed on the time now that she was leaning back with her arms pressed on the desktop and her legs spreadeagled. Rick was kneeling in between her legs and lapping at her swollen clit. Her head rolled backwards and her eyes clenched shut.

"Shit, Rick," she breathed heavily as the pleasure coursed through her. "That's nice."

Rick sucked her vigorously until her body began to shudder and she came in his mouth; her hips bucked and her flailing arm knocked the baking dish to the floor as food spilled everywhere. Not too concerned with what had been wasted and quite content with the meal he was having, Rick licked up all of her juices, stood and then watched as she rode out her climax. Michonne looked at him and then sat up; she threw her arms over his shoulders and kissed him once more. Hurriedly, Rick undid his jeans and freed himself; he found her dripping opening and slid his cock inside.

Michonne felt better than he could ever imagine as he slowly began to thrust into her; her legs wrapped around his waist and her mouth still pressed to his. Rick gripped her ass firmly and hit her spot again and again while she threaded her fingers through his hair. They kept their bodies close together; sweat mingling and their heavy breaths blending. Rick did not expect their first time together to be like this, but he felt close to her all the same.

He continued to drive his glistening hardness into her deliciously tight wetness; both moaned in unison at the sensations that were washing over them. Rick felt as if he was ready to find his release and he could tell Michonne was nearly there as well; he lifted her legs higher and laid her down on the desk, his movements more frantic as his climax approached. He used his thumb to rub Michonne's clit to get her over the line first; her walls clenched around his cock as he was just about to come inside of her.

Just then, Jessie entered the room without knocking; she found Rick still deep inside of a panting and moaning Michonne and the lunch she had made for him scattered on the floor. She gasped and Rick turned around; he hurriedly withdrew his dick and tucked it back into his jeans.

"Sorry," said Jessie, still standing there unable to move from the shock.

"What do you want?" said Rick, not moving from where he was so as to protect Michonne's modesty.

"The lunch I made, I…"

"Can you just fuck off, please?" said Michonne as she sat up and looked over Rick's shoulder. "We're kind of busy here."

"I…I'm sorry…I didn't mean to…I," she stammered.

"Jessie! Get the fuck out!" said Michonne, annoyed that the woman was still standing there while she and Rick were in a compromising position.

Jessie dropped her head and rushed out of the door as Rick shook his head and Michonne slid off the desk; she went to the door and locked it.

"Where you going? What're you doin'?" asked Rick, still breathing heavily and feeling high, regardless of the unwanted visitor.

"Well," said Michonne gesturing to the food on the floor. "Lunch is ruined."

He watched as she stepped closer to him and halted in front of him; she dropped to her knees and undid his zipper, freeing his still throbbing cock and licking the dripping tip.

"And I'm still hungry."

 _End._


End file.
